Running With Other People

Let’s all go for a run

As mentioned my previous post (My Fitness Journey), I have recently started running with other people.

For many runners, this isn’t that big of a deal. Most that I have met or talked to set a Parkrun as their goal, or a race, or some other form of event. However for me, that was never the case. Running with other people has been a massive change.

Introversion, maybe

I’ve long seen myself as an introvert. I’ve struggled with meeting new people, I found large crowds of people a bit difficult to cope with, and my friend circle has historically been pretty small.

When I decided to start running in May of 2024, I saw it as a way of improving fitness, losing weight, and an opportunity to put some headphones on and listen to podcasts/music/shut out the world. The idea of signing up for a race in competition with other people, or doing Parkrun was the furthest thing from my mind. I had a goal (and still do) of running a lap around the Circuit De La Sarthe, but this was entirely solo.

A lot of people don’t know that I run. There are a few work colleagues who are into running that still don’t know I run as well (although I do work remotely so it isn’t an everyday subject!).

The only real conversations I’ve had about running were with REALLY close friends, and the employees of shops that I bought running shoes from (and almost always met with “So are you signed up to any races?”).

I felt a little weird sometimes, in that I didn’t see many people talk about running without also mentioning an event they were signed up for. Yet for my first year of running I only ran on my own (with the occasional wave/nod of the head at other runners who also decided that running at 6am is somehow a good idea).

Even in the online world, I still struggle with new people. Last year, I joined up to Ryan Condon’s Discord server, gave a brief introduction about myself, and then promptly never said another word. This isn’t really conducive to talking to people with shared interests!

Change in perspective

My current life situation (if you haven’t read my previous post, it is mentioned there) means I am now re-evaluating a lot of what I thought about myself.

Firstly, it has made me realise that I’m not okay with having a very small friend circle. Most of my close friends do not live near enough for me to see on a regular basis. By the time I next see my closest ones in person, it will have been between 2 and 3 months since my life completely changed. I love my friends, and them being so far away has been difficult during this time in my life. The feeling of isolation has been strong, and I need to ensure that I don’t end up in a similar situation with regards to friends and social lives.

Secondly, I want my children to have a better life. I want to give them the opportunity to meet and interact with more people and make more friends. The last thing I want to do is teach them that interacting with other people is a bad thing, hard or something that should be avoided.

Thirdly, I am starting to challenge myself on whether I’m an introvert, or whether I have certain mental health challenges that are preventing me from being comfortable around people. In summary, the latter is looking more and more to be the case.

Finally, I found myself wanting to mix the good feeling I get from running with meeting new people. If I can combine the two, this may even lead to a social life!

I’ve recently started going to therapy, which means that I’m challenging myself more and more on how I think, feel and interact with the world. While I don’t expect that my personality is going to change completely, I am expecting that over time that my approach to the world is going to be significantly different to how it has been so far.

“Conversational pace”

I now know what conversational pace means. For the longest time I never thought it would apply to me, and yet here we are.

In the past few weeks I have: -

• Ran with one of the local running groups
• Ran two weekly runs with another local running group
• Attended my first Parkrun
• Met some of the running group people at the very same Parkrun

I am likely to keep running most weeks with the second group, and am really glad I found them. It is still early days, but I can see some changes in my view on running happening already. I’m already considering signing up for the local city’s 10k run next year. Tell that to me of a year ago and they wouldn’t believe you.

I’ve also found that the runs go much quicker when running with others. Despite listening to some really interesting podcasts during my running, no solo run has ever gone by as quick.

I’m a Parkrunner now

I found out more about myself at Parkrun.

First, despite how daunting the idea was, I really enjoyed running alongside a large crowd of people. While the one I attended isn’t the biggest Parkrun, there were at least a few hundred people there. They are really welcoming, I had people I’d never met congratulate me on doing my first ever Parkrun, and had random people giving me encouragement throughout.

Secondly, if I see people in front, I start trying to go past them. Maybe it is my years of watching motorsport, maybe it is the fact that since a teenager I’ve always walked “with a purpose” and tried to go past everyone on my way to somewhere. Turns out, I’m weirdly competitive in ways I didn’t realise.

A friend of mine mentioned that when he did Parkrun, he couldn’t help but try and go faster. I didn’t think this was going to be a thing. And then I did a 5k time nearly 3 minutes quicker than I’ve ever ran on my own. There was a little “I told you so” from him….

This won’t be the last Parkrun I do. I already have 2 more in the city I live in to tick off, as well as a few nearby that I would like to take part in (partly for how scenic they will be).

Don’t be alone

For anyone reading this, and with a similar mindset to what I had, I encourage you to try and run with others. Even if you only try it once, it will be enough to work out whether it will make a difference for you.

It has changed my perspective on running already. It has only been 3-4 weeks since I started, and yet I now am finding it really difficult to imagine not doing at least one run a week with other people.

While I don’t know what life is going to be like in a few months, a year, or 5 years time, I feel like I might not be the introvert I always thought I was. Running with others is helping me change my view on myself, and I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds.